Geek’s Words of Wisdom

Posted: June 3, 2011 in IT

>There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

>If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0

>Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”

>My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I’ll trade this but not my charizard.

>1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.

>I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

>I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code

>Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

>A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

>My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

>The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’. So I installed LINUX.

>Roses are #FF0000
Violets are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

>People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

>The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!”

>The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.

>In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

>You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don’t have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.

>Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

>Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.

>Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

>Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

>You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.

>JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!

>Windows had detected you do not have a keyboard. Press ‘F9″ to continue.

>Use The Best…
Linux for Servers
Mac for Graphics
Palm for Mobility
Windows for Solitaire

>Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

>UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

>C://dos
C://dos.run
run.dos.run

>Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.

>MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

>The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.

>A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.

>Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

>A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

>Unix, DOS and Windows…the good, the bad and the ugly.

>How do I set a laser printer to stun?

>I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”

>Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.

>Better to be a geek than an idiot.

>Alcohol & calculus don’t mix. Never drink & derive.

>The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.

>Windows XP -now comes with free anger management courses.

>I see fragged people

>Who needs friends? My PC is user friendly.

>Windows does not detect a keyboard…Please press ‘ENTER’ to continue…

>Never make fun of the geeks, one day they will be your boss.

>Video games are bad for you? That’s what they said about Rock-n-Roll.

>ACs are like computers- Both work fine until you open Windows!

>I don’t care if the software I run is unstable crap, as long as it is the LATEST unstable crap.

>Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

>”Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.”

>Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

>Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

>Whoa! I can submit my prayers via html based forms!

>Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes

>Who wants to be cool when you can be a nerd

>Who needs the library? I’ve got google!

>You laugh at me because I’m differnt. I pity you because you all use the same damn quotes for your internet profiles.

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